Do I or don't I?

Not feeling so certain about what to write, the author sits and meditates in her favorite lounge chair. Actually, it is the only lounge chair in the room and it has been consigned to her. No one else sits in it but maybe the man in her life. Anyway, she sits and wonders what she can amaze or bore people with in her literary way.. Having the ability of whit and charm (yeah right!), she begins to realize that she is just rambling on and on.

Maybe a subject will appear out of all this she thinks suddenly. Like "I could actually tell how we all do that in our daily lives." She thinks almost out loud. How many times do you just sit and think in a rambling way? I personally am either blessed or cursed with this affliction. I tend to mentally plan out what I want to accomplish and then, after some thought, I tend to just start thinking of something else. Lately, I've been having a lot of medical appointments for my health and welfare. Throw in a weekly visit or two to the Physical Therapist for a bad shoulder and you get one confused (Like I needed the help here) gal. Pretty soon, I started to actually keep a schedule of the visits, setting them up in my IPad and marking them with an alarm. Good idea right? It would be if I was ever around WIFI when it was time for the alarm to go off and had the IPad with me... So, that idea went to the wayside also.

The next idea was to put a copy of all the appointments on the refrigerator and keep tabs on them that way. So far, it seems to be working..As long as I remember to take down the old ones. Now, to organize my thought and other such sundry things. I started with my pictures...Yes, I have well over 5,000 pictures on 3 items in my possession. The duplicates were astronomical to say the least. So I downloaded the pictures on my phone and IPad into my computer. I then spent mindless hours categorizing them and making a merry mess of the whole thing. Actually, after much time, I had them organized and began to create a Pinterest sight of my likes and such. I even made categories there too. Crazy as it sounds, I now have people who like my pictures and are sharing them with their friends.

I also have created sites that are for telling what I do and how I feel...thus, 2 blogs and 4 different 'pages' in Facebook. It seems to help me keep it together. Yes, the sites or pages are intermixed at times to stress a point of some kind and to assist people in understanding the confused mind of a deranged lady. (OK, I think that's in a description somewhere).

None the less, the accomplishments seem to be going hand in hand with the emotional and physical improvements that seem to be happening in my life. Who knew? Well, enough of this rambling on today. Maybe tomorrow, I'll organize my closet!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Confused and Determined...

Today, I made a comment that "I will NO longer drink Diet Dr Pepper or any other soda. I have been very weak up to this point. I have been thinking of all the things I need to do in order to be totally prepared for the Bariatric Surgery coming up. I have a couple of tests I need to take and then a seminar to attend..Not to mention a Phychic Evaluation to complete. I have been feeling frustrated because I want to get this done, and at the same time, I don't want to quit some of the foods that I eat and drink. Yes, I WILL stop doing these things because I know it is better for my health and also better for my emotional well being also. Jan is the first and only person I have to please. Jan is the one who needs to know she is worth this goal she has challenged herself with. Jan will accomplish this goal and go on to the next one...Keeping in mind that I cannot change my mind after surgery...

Once I obtain this, what is next for me? A better outlook on myself and my life...I may be using lent to accomplish the commitment portion of this goal...but by Golly, I will do the best and the only thing I can do...BE A CHEERLEADER TO MYSELF..I CAN , I WILL, I MUST do this...With that being said, I am now finished with this post.

Who wants to be P C?

The issues of the day are gradually being solved. Presidential candidates are beguiling the masses with their promises. The ninety and nine percent are out in droves spending their pennies, nickels and dimes on presents, food and rent. The Television is attacking us with ads for cars, jewelry and toys of all kinds for the "Holiday" season.
We are all unsettled with our various beliefs. Chanuka, Kwanza and Christmas... To appease the masses or so the political police say; we are to call the occasions 'Happy Holidays'. Are we really making everyone happy? Does the general public really want to use the term selected by the few picky persons who are offended by the verbal use of old terminology?
I thought the majority rules. I thought people enjoyed having their own names and themes for the various celebrations we have. I thought we were celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and the future he knew he had to lead us to. Why do the PC's insist they are the only ones who can decide our diction?
As for me, I choose to say Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka, and Happy Kwanza. I know for a fact that a lot of people feel the same. The music is always beautiful. The meaning is still there. So why don't we follow our own conscience? Why don't we decide how we believe? It seems the PC's have us under their thumb.
When you realize that we came to the United States of America looking for freedom, isn't it ironic that our Freedom of Speech is being attacked?

THINK ABOUT IT !!!

Thanksgiving? What are you thankful for?

Never did I think that we would be so challenged as these days have become. I know because of the great Prophets of old and now that it was forecast for us as a nation and the world that these things are to come to pass.
As a thief in the night, that too was forecast. We have been admonished and encouraged to be prepared. Most people think of preparation is more physical or with food. Though this is true, I also feel preparation is also emotional and thought provoking. How should we act? What should we say? Who should we support at the 11th hour?
My church advises us to go with our conscience. Prayerfully vote for our leaders. Cautiously speak our thoughts and feelings. Be prepared to be disappointed on a lot of decisions. We should all be thankful that we can choose, pray, eat, sing and follow our religious preference.
Heavenly Father provides all his children an opportunity to mindfully choose each decision of their lives. Though some of us do not have outward freedoms, we all have a chance to follow Jesus Christ and be his servants to help those in need. We should share his Gospel with all those who are around us. With the option we have of the Internet, we can reach more people. We can provide blogs like mine to share our thoughts and those who read can decide for themselves what to believe.
I personally am very thankful for all that I have. I am thankful for my church, my family, my freedoms and my life. I hope to be able to share more of my thoughts and decisions in weeks and days to come. You have this opportunity. Show people you love them by sharing the gospel. Share your Testimony.. Give with your heart the best present we can.

Did my momma tell me there would be days....

like this? She probably did, but I probably didn't listen. It was a struggle for me to take the decision that was made this morning. I really wanted to go to Stake Conference this morning. Hubby wanted to watch the soccer game of my third to youngest grandson, TJ...so, we went to the game. I know I feel guilty to have done that, but what do you do when it's a rare occasion that I can see my grandson play ball? I was hoping beyond hope that his games were on Saturday.

As for the rest of the day, I had an interesting occurance,... One of my facebook friends (gamer) was so despondant that she wanted to give up on life. She has a few children and because of some health issues, her ex-husband has taken away her two daughters. It scared me that I would know someone who had given in to her inner demons. I've had bouts with my demons also, especially lately with my health issues. Some days, mixed with boredom and self doubt, I tend to feel depressed to an unexplained level. It makes life difficult sometimes... I just can't explain how it is...I do know without a doubt. that my family, friends and religion are the main things that keep me sane to a point.
I also felt strongly today,. the reality of life itself. I couldn't imagine that someone would voluntarily end their life over any issue, though I do understand my friends point. Without your family, what is there to live for? What can I do with my life if I don't have anything to show for it? Why is this happening to me? These are questions that I am sure are going through her mind tonight. She is scared that she won't ever see her kids again. She is frustrated that she can't do too much to change the situation because he is in a better financial and healthy situation. She feels like she is nothing without her family.

I know of someone else who had to make a decision about his son. He had to decide if he could live or if he should die...It stood hard for me to just imagine how my friend felt. Imagine how Heavenly Father felt when he knew that his one and only begotten son had to die for all mankind. His love rang true to the point that he was willing to sacrifice his son for the sake of the rest of the human world. His son also had to accept the challenge of having his life taken. Even he, at the last minute asked his father to take 'this cup' from me... Knowing full well, that it was God's will, not his that had to be followed.

The rest of us should respect this decision that was made back when Jesus gave his life for us, and his father had to watch as the people tortured his son and nailed him to a cross and let him die. Jesus could have saved himself, but what would that prove? What do you think would have been accomplished if Jesus did save himself? I'm sure that our lives would be for naught. We would have no reason to be here on earth. For the sake of man, God gave his son.

 We know we are blessed beyond measure because of this decision. We won't be punished for the rest of our lives for the sins of our first parents, Adam and Eve. They had just one real choice to make, that was to partake of the forbidden fruit.

Now, my friend has the opportunity to choose what she wants to do with her life. Most of her friends and family know she won't 'give up' and that she will some day realize that her family is eternal. I hope that I am a small cog in the wheel of life that can provide the littlest bit of information to help her to this information.

Motivation: what does it take to get this way?

In my case, it takes more than I can deal with sometimes.. I can use the best of excuses... It isn't helping me much..I'm not the only one who isn't motivated. Generally, a lot of people can't seem to decide what they want to do with their lives, as a follower of twitter and facebook, I see examples everyday of people who have not commited themselves to making a change. Most simply do what I am doing here...writing what they feel and talking about what they WANT to do. I know how hard it is to change a life time habit. In my case, I need to lose weight. I have a visit with my Dietician this week and some not so good news for her. Granted, I have backed off on how much I eat, but I haven't sincerely gotten into this diet because I'm not sure of it...Yes, I do want to get healthier, yes, I do want to wear smaller clothes and yes, I want to be a perfect size whatever is mine. I didn't complete my food list, some of which I can catch up, but not sure of the rest.
Today is a new day for me, even my horoscope told me I needed to get off the fence. I have got to do something if I want to get rid of the frustration in my mind and heart and do something for myself and Heavenly Father. I feel now, like I have failed...I know I haven't but it seems the prince of darkness is telling me to give up..I can't do that! I can't fail again without at least putting my best into it. I don't want to fail. So, today I am going to work on my food list and at least be prepared for the consequences of the last two weeks..I will do better next visit...

How is everyone today?

It is kind of sad that all you hear is I can't do this or that..be it because of health, lack of funds or any other reason. How would you feel if God told you...I can't do that... I'm not saying that your  reasons are not legit, just that sometimes, you really have to overcome your afflictions or excuses and do what must be done. Who wants to sit around like a stick in the mud. I've gone from my worst feelings and still tried to accomplish.. then other days, I did nothing but sit in the infamous chair and just do nothing. It tends to  cause depression, anxiety and just plain laziness...  You always must do for yourself and those who really can't do much. I know for myself, it's hard to deal with my ailment, but on my good days, it doesn't hurt to have a jab at helping others and getting things done at home.

Small accomplishments can provide beautiful results...