The only way you can find how I REALLY feel

Check here if you want to see my complaints, problems and solutions...cuz I is one crazy lady...

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Did my momma tell me there would be days....

like this? She probably did, but I probably didn't listen. It was a struggle for me to take the decision that was made this morning. I really wanted to go to Stake Conference this morning. Hubby wanted to watch the soccer game of my third to youngest grandson,, we went to the game. I know I feel guilty to have done that, but what do you do when it's a rare occasion that I can see my grandson play ball? I was hoping beyond hope that his games were on Saturday.

As for the rest of the day, I had an interesting occurance,... One of my facebook friends (gamer) was so despondant that she wanted to give up on life. She has a few children and because of some health issues, her ex-husband has taken away her two daughters. It scared me that I would know someone who had given in to her inner demons. I've had bouts with my demons also, especially lately with my health issues. Some days, mixed with boredom and self doubt, I tend to feel depressed to an unexplained level. It makes life difficult sometimes... I just can't explain how it is...I do know without a doubt. that my family, friends and religion are the main things that keep me sane to a point.
I also felt strongly today,. the reality of life itself. I couldn't imagine that someone would voluntarily end their life over any issue, though I do understand my friends point. Without your family, what is there to live for? What can I do with my life if I don't have anything to show for it? Why is this happening to me? These are questions that I am sure are going through her mind tonight. She is scared that she won't ever see her kids again. She is frustrated that she can't do too much to change the situation because he is in a better financial and healthy situation. She feels like she is nothing without her family.

I know of someone else who had to make a decision about his son. He had to decide if he could live or if he should die...It stood hard for me to just imagine how my friend felt. Imagine how Heavenly Father felt when he knew that his one and only begotten son had to die for all mankind. His love rang true to the point that he was willing to sacrifice his son for the sake of the rest of the human world. His son also had to accept the challenge of having his life taken. Even he, at the last minute asked his father to take 'this cup' from me... Knowing full well, that it was God's will, not his that had to be followed.

The rest of us should respect this decision that was made back when Jesus gave his life for us, and his father had to watch as the people tortured his son and nailed him to a cross and let him die. Jesus could have saved himself, but what would that prove? What do you think would have been accomplished if Jesus did save himself? I'm sure that our lives would be for naught. We would have no reason to be here on earth. For the sake of man, God gave his son.

 We know we are blessed beyond measure because of this decision. We won't be punished for the rest of our lives for the sins of our first parents, Adam and Eve. They had just one real choice to make, that was to partake of the forbidden fruit.

Now, my friend has the opportunity to choose what she wants to do with her life. Most of her friends and family know she won't 'give up' and that she will some day realize that her family is eternal. I hope that I am a small cog in the wheel of life that can provide the littlest bit of information to help her to this information.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Motivation: what does it take to get this way?

In my case, it takes more than I can deal with sometimes.. I can use the best of excuses... It isn't helping me much..I'm not the only one who isn't motivated. Generally, a lot of people can't seem to decide what they want to do with their lives, as a follower of twitter and facebook, I see examples everyday of people who have not commited themselves to making a change. Most simply do what I am doing here...writing what they feel and talking about what they WANT to do. I know how hard it is to change a life time habit. In my case, I need to lose weight. I have a visit with my Dietician this week and some not so good news for her. Granted, I have backed off on how much I eat, but I haven't sincerely gotten into this diet because I'm not sure of it...Yes, I do want to get healthier, yes, I do want to wear smaller clothes and yes, I want to be a perfect size whatever is mine. I didn't complete my food list, some of which I can catch up, but not sure of the rest.
Today is a new day for me, even my horoscope told me I needed to get off the fence. I have got to do something if I want to get rid of the frustration in my mind and heart and do something for myself and Heavenly Father. I feel now, like I have failed...I know I haven't but it seems the prince of darkness is telling me to give up..I can't do that! I can't fail again without at least putting my best into it. I don't want to fail. So, today I am going to work on my food list and at least be prepared for the consequences of the last two weeks..I will do better next visit...

Saturday, September 3, 2011

How is everyone today?

It is kind of sad that all you hear is I can't do this or it because of health, lack of funds or any other reason. How would you feel if God told you...I can't do that... I'm not saying that your  reasons are not legit, just that sometimes, you really have to overcome your afflictions or excuses and do what must be done. Who wants to sit around like a stick in the mud. I've gone from my worst feelings and still tried to accomplish.. then other days, I did nothing but sit in the infamous chair and just do nothing. It tends to  cause depression, anxiety and just plain laziness...  You always must do for yourself and those who really can't do much. I know for myself, it's hard to deal with my ailment, but on my good days, it doesn't hurt to have a jab at helping others and getting things done at home.
Small accomplishments can provide beautiful results...

Friday, September 2, 2011

What the Heck?

My husband and I nearly flipped out yesterday.. Our complex we live in has decided that dirty cars will be banned. Meaning, if they sight you three times for a dirty car, the car is not allowed to come on the property.. REALLY?? I mean, what do they call dirty...smog sediment?, dust? or maybe they go all the way to OMGoodness, mud and splatter...I don't know. It's somewhat insane. One of Gary's brothers mentioned, "They are not in Pacific Heights or some other fancy place..Who do they thing they are? We laughed at that one.
Just shows that people are putting too many petty rules on us. What next? Your clothes must be Sunday best? If you are missing any teeth, you have to move? Dang it's nuts.. I marvel at how people think they can give us rules beyond reality. Snobbish attitudes and crazy thinking.
We have a small closed in patio in our back yard. There is no fencing with air pockets to breathe...and the house to garage connection is half covered to connect to each other. This means that no air gets into the area. We have a big dog and you know what they can do. Also, a smaller dog. Gary has to go out there every day and clean the dirt area and spray it down with a special deodorant spray to keep the smell from rising. Our up stairs neighbor(s) have complained of the smell. I understand that logic.. But if it's a problem, why do they allow dogs in the first place???
This is just a couple of situations that are present in this nice establishment. I commend them for the cleanliness. They have people who actually go around the complex and swipe spider webs off the garage areas and the front porches. It's crazy...
Any way, solutions to this problem for us...Just what we want to do... Find a house of our own, if we want to let the spiders wonder around on the outside, so be it!!... And Punkyn can spread her fertilizer where ever she wants. Gary will still p/u the droppings, but I doubt the neighbors will complain...