"I'm mad as hell..."

A wonderful phrase that most people get upset about...I just don't get the promotion of subjects that are done now a days. I know I am going to piss off some people today with this blog, but I gotta say what I feel. Years and years of slow intoxication has happened in America and it is causing loss of faith for a lot of people or at least a compromise in their beliefs and standards.

I get it that we as human have our differences and feelings and such, but I just don't understand why this wonderful world can't tell the truth of how they feel. I am in fact skirting the subject that is on my mind.
I have and love my gay friends. We get along because of all the things we share in common from feelings and activities to other friends. What I don't like and that is happening on a lot of fronts is Government choosing who should marry who and why? I agree that the BLGT has a right to the same rights as the rest of the world, but I personally can't get with gay marriage. I guess I'm too old to change this view and it is the one that is bothering me right now.

 It is only one of many on my mind today, so I will continue.

What else bothers me more is the fact that Education is getting a back seat to finances. Strange how it is always the way. Seems that the only people who get a full education is the rich and fortunate few. From the time a child makes Kindergarten, the files begin and they make a big impression on how the child is treated over the years. I know from many examples of what I speak. I know that most teachers really care about their students and will do anything to get them what they need. When I see a commercial where 6 kids a day are kicked out of class just in the Fresno School District alone, I worry. I worry more when I watch the news and an important vote is up for grabs and only a hand full of parents show up in support... What does that say to the kids? Teachers are there to educate and the parents are supposed to be there for support. I know a lot of moms and dads do care how much their child learns. I have two daughters who exemplify their support of the education of their children. What I worry about is that someday, when their children want to advance their education to college level, how are they going to do it? I have one grandson that is going to go to a fine institution. He has been applying for grants, scholarships and the like. His parents are ambitious enough to help and support him as much as they are able. If he hadn't put out the effort in school to excel, he wouldn't be able to go.

Another thing that is getting on my nerves lately is the Political arena. Maybe I shouldn't travel here but, I just can't stand how they expect EVERYONE to believe the same way...If I want to believe in equal rights for all, then that is my right. I know that it sounds strange since I just put my feelings on gay marriage but, it is my feelings. I feel that everyone should be able to believe what they want without reprisal from the lefts or rights or even middles. I know that church and state are supposed to be separate but it seems that the Political arena wants to blend them together. That's not fair...It puts everyone on edge and causes a lot of anger. Sometimes, I think it would be wonderful if we could have church and state together but then I get to thinking, Which church is supposed to run this? Just the dynamics of thought makes it ridiculous to mix the two. A lot of people base their lives on religion and I am not saying this is wrong, far from it in fact. I personally base my life on God and how I believe. I try to be a good example of my beliefs and sometimes, I know I falter. I am not perfect. What bothers me is that some people think they are above the normal bearing of politics and can do what they want. They say that Obama is a Democratic Socialist. That he tends to want all things ran by the Government. They also say that Romney will try to run the Presidency through his religion (LDS) and use their format for the new profile of the Government. What I can't stand is how far apart the two sides have become, to the point that laws are not being passed to benefit the people of the country. They have us either spooked into thinking we can do it on our own or scared into thinking we must use the Government system or nothing else.

I know all these rants and raves are a part of personal conscience on my part. A way to express my frustration and my mental screaming for the day. I also know that I would support anyone for anything they believe if they are honest and sincere. I would support all those who want a marriage in spite of the fact that I don't believe in gay marriage. No one has the right to tell us what to do or not to do if it isn't a law. The fact that I know this and want to share it is a good thing. I just wish I could truly convey all I feel, but my mind is flooded and can't run properly. I know one thing for certain, I have my beliefs and you have yours. Let's not let the rest of the country ruin that for us....

What a wonderful

Life?, World?, Day?... Wonder where I'm going here? I've noticed a lot of my Facebook friends start their posts with the beginnings of this phrase. What ever the answer is, it is positive... Or, is it negative?
For today's sake, it will be positive. Spring and fall bring out the best weather. We see the blossoms and greening of the earths crust. We get to enjoy the comfortable temperatures and the cool nights. God made his best work when he created this world and I for one am grateful for it.
Soon, we will get warmer and warmer, where as, the other side of the world will get cold and gray. Either way, the world is glorious.
We tend to take for granted the little things that were created. So much done by the hand of God, from the huge mountains and oceans to the smallest grain of sand. Everything has a reason for being and a limited existence even of a million years or more. This earth is the smallest line of time for our lives. Our biggest chore is to learn all we can and maintain our true relationship with God. For all of this, I am truly grateful.

Struggling today

I was so having a good day today...First in a while I guess when I got a post on facebook that I had to delete. It disturbed me because it attacked the two most important things in my life...My family and My church...

I guess I should be so upset but, I just had never received these types of things before from anyone. I've read a few and felt the hurt of them, but this one cut me to the core.
It was so much what it said, it was the anger I could feel behind the words that were said. Also, it was the hurt I felt for the person  that wrote it...This person doesn't really have all their faculties working properly if you know what I mean so, it hurt to see them putting so much harm to me. I deleted the post and blocked the person from my file. It hurts to know that my family had a few brief moments to see what he wrote and also others on my sight.

I have a bit of anger in my heart at the moment, like wanting to stomp this person into the ground. Heavenly Father always advised his people to never start an argument about their beliefs. It creates animosity and will never get people to understand what you believe. Evil is no way to gain an example of God's love. The spirit cannot enter an unclean mind or heart. I guess it's best that I saw that early so other's MAY not have seen it.

I can't change the fact that I saw it and was hurt. I can't feel what I mentally saw in my mind of how hurt this person must be. The derangement he/she has for the things he/she chooses to blame my family for. I only can hope and pray that someday, he/she will come to their senses and see what the real problem is. Mental health is a hard nut to crack. My depression and soft heart causes me to sympathize with their problems. It also makes me scared on how to handle a situation with them. I've met quite a few people who hurt in their minds and hearts. Heavenly Father has blessed me (or perhaps cursed me) with this incite. I suppose over time, I will learn how to handle this gift or curse and get me a chance to help them in some way.

I know my Heavenly Father loves me and will help me find the way to resolve the problem I personally have. I pray that I will be able to convey this to those I must cross paths with. May God give you good rest this night and a wonderful day tomorrow...

Hypocracy Is it rampant in the world?

Yes, it is.Everywhere you turn is the non-truth of things. The posts we see online, facebook and advertisements on TV, the computer and the radio (they still have those?). Living in this modern world, I have discovered that "nothing" is the biggest means of advertisement...such as "Nothing" works as well as Xantac or as fast as Bayer.  I would really like to get a hold of that 'nothing' wouldn't you? What they mean to say is that everything is the same and you should chose our product. It's a crock to think that 'nothing' does everything; yet, something is not anything.
Want to make this more confusing? Well, I can't...too confused to be able to totally confuse the rest of you. Anyway, it bothers me that people profess something they really don't like or believe merely for the attention they can get from it. Their 15 minutes of fame so to speak. It bothers me that people are not willing to be honest with themselves and state the truth. I personally am tired of all the lies spouted by the socially inept and opinionated people of this world. I may not know everything about anything. But, I know a pretty good amount about 'nothing'. That's my job; last to know and last to understand.

My feelings are thus, if you can do anything about nothing, then everything will be something. In other words, profess the truth. It is easier to do and you don't have to remember as much as you do when you lie. I guess the less you have to explain something, the more truth there is to it. All my life my parents taught me to respect your elders, teachers and the people of law enforcement to name a few. Lately, a lot of these types have shown up in the news under non-respectful actions. Depending on who you talk to, the situations are either totally despicable or no big deal. Now, if it was your child that was attacked by the teacher or coerced into doing something they shouldn't, you would have the offender in jail or waiting in front of the firing squad. If they are unknowns, they would be pushed under the rug and punished to the inth degree...If they are famous, they get ignored...or made infamous like Mr. Sheen to show an example. A total example of evil personified and the people 'love' him? If some unknown did the same thing he did, they would still be in jail. More and more people are compromising their beliefs or ideals to get into the popularity of their fame. Why should they be punished for doing something wrong, when they can proclaim that they did 'nothing' that anyone else wouldn't do.

Crazy how that happens huh? I don't think that there should be more punishment for the same crime, but I do think that punishment should be done to those who do wrong. It's hard to watch people get away with robbery and murder and other sick crimes that seem to be on the rise. I know that lack of conscience is the biggest flaw that is showing up today. Parents over the last few generations are doing less and less to teach their children responsibility for their actions and compromising their own beliefs to keep from 'hurting' their children...It does hurt inside when you punish a child, even if it isn't yours. My nieces and nephews and even my grandsons know I love them, but I have never deliberately spared the punishment when it was needed. I don't like being the bully, but sometimes I have to do it. I am still loved by my family.
All I want to know is this? Do you really think that 'nothing' is better than something and that everything can be solved by anything? Well, I guess if anything, I can say..."Nothing" is better than what I wrote...absolutely "nothing"...

Do I or don't I?

Not feeling so certain about what to write, the author sits and meditates in her favorite lounge chair. Actually, it is the only lounge chair in the room and it has been consigned to her. No one else sits in it but maybe the man in her life. Anyway, she sits and wonders what she can amaze or bore people with in her literary way.. Having the ability of whit and charm (yeah right!), she begins to realize that she is just rambling on and on.

Maybe a subject will appear out of all this she thinks suddenly. Like "I could actually tell how we all do that in our daily lives." She thinks almost out loud. How many times do you just sit and think in a rambling way? I personally am either blessed or cursed with this affliction. I tend to mentally plan out what I want to accomplish and then, after some thought, I tend to just start thinking of something else. Lately, I've been having a lot of medical appointments for my health and welfare. Throw in a weekly visit or two to the Physical Therapist for a bad shoulder and you get one confused (Like I needed the help here) gal. Pretty soon, I started to actually keep a schedule of the visits, setting them up in my IPad and marking them with an alarm. Good idea right? It would be if I was ever around WIFI when it was time for the alarm to go off and had the IPad with me... So, that idea went to the wayside also.

The next idea was to put a copy of all the appointments on the refrigerator and keep tabs on them that way. So far, it seems to be working..As long as I remember to take down the old ones. Now, to organize my thought and other such sundry things. I started with my pictures...Yes, I have well over 5,000 pictures on 3 items in my possession. The duplicates were astronomical to say the least. So I downloaded the pictures on my phone and IPad into my computer. I then spent mindless hours categorizing them and making a merry mess of the whole thing. Actually, after much time, I had them organized and began to create a Pinterest sight of my likes and such. I even made categories there too. Crazy as it sounds, I now have people who like my pictures and are sharing them with their friends.

I also have created sites that are for telling what I do and how I feel...thus, 2 blogs and 4 different 'pages' in Facebook. It seems to help me keep it together. Yes, the sites or pages are intermixed at times to stress a point of some kind and to assist people in understanding the confused mind of a deranged lady. (OK, I think that's in a description somewhere).

None the less, the accomplishments seem to be going hand in hand with the emotional and physical improvements that seem to be happening in my life. Who knew? Well, enough of this rambling on today. Maybe tomorrow, I'll organize my closet!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Confused and Determined...

Today, I made a comment that "I will NO longer drink Diet Dr Pepper or any other soda. I have been very weak up to this point. I have been thinking of all the things I need to do in order to be totally prepared for the Bariatric Surgery coming up. I have a couple of tests I need to take and then a seminar to attend..Not to mention a Phychic Evaluation to complete. I have been feeling frustrated because I want to get this done, and at the same time, I don't want to quit some of the foods that I eat and drink. Yes, I WILL stop doing these things because I know it is better for my health and also better for my emotional well being also. Jan is the first and only person I have to please. Jan is the one who needs to know she is worth this goal she has challenged herself with. Jan will accomplish this goal and go on to the next one...Keeping in mind that I cannot change my mind after surgery...

Once I obtain this, what is next for me? A better outlook on myself and my life...I may be using lent to accomplish the commitment portion of this goal...but by Golly, I will do the best and the only thing I can do...BE A CHEERLEADER TO MYSELF..I CAN , I WILL, I MUST do this...With that being said, I am now finished with this post.

Who wants to be P C?

The issues of the day are gradually being solved. Presidential candidates are beguiling the masses with their promises. The ninety and nine percent are out in droves spending their pennies, nickels and dimes on presents, food and rent. The Television is attacking us with ads for cars, jewelry and toys of all kinds for the "Holiday" season.
We are all unsettled with our various beliefs. Chanuka, Kwanza and Christmas... To appease the masses or so the political police say; we are to call the occasions 'Happy Holidays'. Are we really making everyone happy? Does the general public really want to use the term selected by the few picky persons who are offended by the verbal use of old terminology?
I thought the majority rules. I thought people enjoyed having their own names and themes for the various celebrations we have. I thought we were celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and the future he knew he had to lead us to. Why do the PC's insist they are the only ones who can decide our diction?
As for me, I choose to say Merry Christmas, Happy Chanuka, and Happy Kwanza. I know for a fact that a lot of people feel the same. The music is always beautiful. The meaning is still there. So why don't we follow our own conscience? Why don't we decide how we believe? It seems the PC's have us under their thumb.
When you realize that we came to the United States of America looking for freedom, isn't it ironic that our Freedom of Speech is being attacked?

THINK ABOUT IT !!!